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There are people who, faced with a success or a story that sees them as positive protagonists, tend not to communicate it to others. There is the fear of feeling excessively “enthusiastic”, of wanting to create an image that is too positive, of feeling judged. On the other hand, there are other individuals who have a tendency to show even the smallest result immediately and with great enthusiasm. I’m people who “pull it off” and who are sometimes judged negatively for their way of communicating every success.
If you have a hard time putting up with someone who behaves like this, know that excessive modesty is not always a virtue. In doing so, in fact, friends and those around you are excluded from what positive you can create. To say it is a research conducted by scientists from the University of Michigan, published in the Journal of Personality.
“Cutting out” can be bad
Excessive modesty, which sometimes turns into a lack of communication, may therefore not always be a good thing. Especially if close family members or close friends are left out. In these cases, sometimes, even playing the part of the “braggart” can also have meaning because if these people learn from a third party what you have done they may feel diminished in your attention.
In short, it takes attention and a pinch of intelligence when you think of keeping a result for yourself. Otherwise there is the risk of “making mistakes” anyway, even keeping the successes hidden. To achieve these results, the experts coordinated by Todd Chan, who now works at Facebook, worked on the reactions that occurred following the viewing of nine different cartoons, presented to over 2000 people.
Obviously in the studio the use of social media he was particularly pushed. An example of what happened? A situation arose in which, when asked by a friend about the progress of his professional activity, the protagonist quietly replied that everything is fine. Then, the next day, numerous compliments from colleagues on the successful job promotion appeared on social media.
All the participants in the study were then asked how they would have perceived the conversation if they had found themselves in the place of those who were told a laconic “all is well”. And it emerged that in fact, close friends and relatives have “suffered” from the lack of information, even if for those who lived it it could seem a way of “pulling it off”. In short: at least with true friends and close relatives, giving good news, even at the risk of appearing excessively “enthusiastic” is certainly positive.
The risk is to “belittle” others
Explaining this reaction, especially for those who are very reserved and do not want to be in the position of being considered the classic “braggart” by the people they love, is not easy.
On the psychological front, however, the possible negative effect of the lack of involvement in enthusiasm should never be underestimated. In the experiment, those who participated were much worse off not being directly informed by the person who had a major professional breakthrough than finding it difficult to perceive the joy. Final advice: be careful not to “devalue” your friends too much so as not to testify to the enthusiasm. Sometimes, confidentiality can play tricks on you.
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