Affective dependence: how to get out of it?

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There emotional dependence, especially at the beginning of a relationship, it is a more than normal condition. This, however, turns into a pathology when, rather than decreasing with the passage of time, it increases exponentially. How to recognize it and get out of it?

Affective dependence: how to recognize it?

Being in love and reciprocated is beautiful, especially in the early periods of the relationship. You feel the classic butterflies in your stomach, you just think about your partner and you would like to share every moment of the day with him. These emotions, as is normal, they fade with the passage of time. When this does not happen and you feel a growing dependence on the other, it means that something is wrong.

Psychology, in cases of this kind, speaks of dysfunctional affective dependence.

If at the beginning of a love story a kind of addiction is considered more than normal, after the love idyll phase it becomes a condition to which we must pay attention. Therefore, it is important to know how to recognize emotional dependence. Believed to be similar to drug or alcohol addictions, it makes the relationship toxic. THE symptoms most common are:

Seeing the partner as the only reason for living;
Priority to the partner’s emotions, leaving out their own;
Decision-making capacity equal to zero: decisions are made only if you have the complete approval of the partner;
Inability to live away from the partner with the anxiety of being able to lose him;
Zero social life but only time to spend as a couple;
Self-esteem depends only on the judgment of the other;
Always take the blame;
Failing to disagree with others.

The causes

The causes of emotional dependence are diverse and often have little to do with the relationship we are experiencing. In general, people with this condition see their self-esteem, personality and self-esteem inextricably linked in the presence of a solid and stable love story. Most of the causes of emotional dependence date back to period of childhood of the dependent person:

Overprotected former children;
Those who have suffered the trauma of abandonment;
Those who cannot be alone.

To get out of the ‘tunnel’ of emotional dependence, one must first of all be able to recognize it. To do this it is necessary, depending on the case and the severity of pressure suffered during the couple’s life, to contact one psychotherapist. An inner journey is important to understand one’s ‘weaknesses’, if we can call them that, and begin to ‘live’ in a different way. To get out, you need to:

Recognize and accept what one has experienced: understanding and admitting that you are the victim of an addiction, in this emotional case, is essential to start a job with and on yourself and ask for help. The emotional employee, in fact, can instinctively seek relationships with people who do not treat him as he deserves.
Learn to be alone: those who suffer from it usually find particular difficulties in remaining in solitude. Being alone causes these people fear, anxiety and anguish and the need to “attach” to someone comes almost spontaneously.
Research the causes that led to addiction: A psychotherapist will help you understand why you have become dependent on your partner. Once the reason behind these behaviors is revealed, it will be easier to work on yourself.