How Many Miscarriages Did Judy Suffer?

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How Many Miscarriages Did Judy Suffer?

Among the many things I love about how the new Netflix series Dead to Me handles grief is that it tackles the very real and lasting effects of pregnancy loss head on. We later find out Judy actually suffered five miscarriages, and as she says, the experiences made her feel a little crazy, which is why she lied. Judy may not have been truthful, but she lost something, too.

Here’s the thing: grief changes over time. I’ll also always feel a little crazy, like Judy. I can’t help but fear the worst, every time.

Heightened worry is just one aspect of the aftermath of loss that people who haven’t experienced something similar can’t relate to. Which is why, like Judy on Dead to Me, many of my relationships have changed since our loss. We are still together, but early on, my husband and I struggled a lot to connect as we grieved because we handled our feelings so differently.

But I’d by lying if I said we weren’t still working toward our new normal. Other relationships in my life changed, too. Quite a few well-meaning friends and family said things that I found hurtful after our loss, which made me feel less close to them.

Others didn’t reach out at all, and I’ve never gotten over that. Sometimes relationships with family members will even shift after a loss like ours. So many of us are walking around with a big hole in our hearts.

Who Is Jen Harding’S Husband?

Dead to Me follows the complicated friendship of Jen Harding (Christina Applegate) and Judy Hale (Linda Cardellini), two California women brought together by tragedy. In the season 1 finale, Steve Wood (James Marsden) winds up dead–who killed him? In fact, the second season of Dead to Me is even twistier than the first—but just as poignant regarding themes of forgiveness, friendship, and grief.

Jen spent Dead to Me’s season grappling with the loss of her husband. Saeed Adyani / Netflix Judy killed Jen’s husband, Ted, in a hit-and-run. This is the most important thing to remember from season 1, because it’s the tragic accident that brings the now-friends together.

However, Judy is keeping a major secret: Judy is the one who killed Jen’s husband, Ted, in a hit-and-run. Jen learns the truth in the finale. In the finale, Judy stands at the same intersection where Ted died, trying to get herself hit by a car too—as if that would even the cosmic balance.

Steve Wood, Judy’s ex-boyfriend, shows up at Jen’s house, and reveals another aspect to that evening. Saeed Adyani / Netflix This conversation underlines a theme that had been running through the entire season: Steve is an abusive partner. This content is imported from {embed-name}.

Lorna reveals that she blames herself for Ted’s death—she didn’t answer a phone call the evening of the accident. Judy continues to process grief over her five miscarriages. I just kept having miscarriages, Judy says, at a grief support group meeting.

Who Goes To Judy’S House One Night, Entenmann’S In Hand, Only To Learn That She’S Not Her House?

Or so we think, until the first of the show’s big twists — which, at this point, can no longer count as a spoiler: Jen goes to Judy’s house one night, Entenmann’s in hand, only to learn that it’s not Judy’s house, and that Judy’s fiancé is very much alive. And we tried and we tried for years, and…I couldn’t. I just kept having miscarriages.

Like them, the viewer stops to consider Judy’s loss, or losses, on the spectrum of grief: Doesn’t this woman deserve to mourn — to talk through her emotions, connect with other people in pain, process her experience — as much as anyone else there? People can start to bond to the baby, or the idea of it, from the moment they have a positive pregnancy test. So, if they lose the pregnancy, even if it’s only a matter of two or three weeks, they can experience a really significant loss.

While studies show that between 10 and 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage , experts believe the actual number is higher, because many women don’t know they’re pregnant when it happens, and others don’t report the loss. With more and more women keenly aware of our cycles — and of the difficulty of getting pregnant, and the possibility of losing pregnancies — much earlier, the rate of miscarriage is closer to 30 percent in the first 6 weeks of gestation. Between hearing a heartbeat at six weeks, and miscarrying three weeks later, I moved homes and jobs.

That time, I never even got as far as pregnancy — but to me, the loss was no less consequential in my bumpy fertility journey than subsequent miscarriages. It started on the very first day of my new job. Dealing with pregnancy loss, like any form of grief, is its own animal, Spielman says, a personal and individualized and customized process for each and every person.

Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini in Dead to Me Saeed Adyani / Netflix For me, jumping back into the process of trying to get pregnant was its own coping mechanism. They knew they wanted them, but they weren’t yet sure why, or for what exactly. My friend’s clinic instructed her to call a funeral home to make arrangements.

How Many Miscarriages Did Judy Hale Have?

In the end we all end up loving Judy…but here are a few times when our stomachs turned in knots at her behavior, and we questioned where we stood with her character. Keep your lies to yourself, Judy Hale. You’re Dead to Me?

Judy offers a heartbreaking explanation for her lie: Steve had left Judy after having 5 miscarriages. What have you done, Judy? Remember before Jen finds out that Judy lied about Steve, they go around looking for cars with body-sized dents?

Judy finds herself unable to sleep in the guesthouse in this episode of Dead to Me. Judy proceeds to tell Jen that it’s hard to sleep in the guesthouse because there is too much Ted in there, and she suggests that Jen should GET RID OF TED’S THINGS! We’re left with a ton of questions after this scene.

Ready to move your dead husband’s belongings? How about two units down from the very vehicle that killed Ted? It’s as if Judy wants to Jen to find out.

I love you but I love what you know more Friends of Heaven go on a retreat where Judy meets Nick. The truth of it, though, is that she is actually as sweet as she shows herself to be the first time we meet her. Judy loves Jen.

Who Is In Season Two Of Dead To Me?

Photo: Courtesy of Netflix Jen Harding (Christina Applegate) and Judy Hale (Linda Cardellini) return this Friday with season two of the Netflix hit Dead to Me, a show about friendship, forgiveness, and cover-ups. Here are the plot points, big and small, you’ll want to keep in mind heading into season two. (Needless to say, spoilers for all of season one lie ahead.)

Jen knows about what happened that night. And then Steve confessed to Jen that he was in the car, too — which turned out to be one of the last things he’d ever do. A lot of Judy’s actions in the season finale feel like they will have ripple effects into season two, even after Steve’s death.

In the final scenes of season one, Steve came to Jen, looking for Judy. He talked about the night Ted died (making it all about himself, of course), but was more upset about Judy emptying his account. Abe is gone, too.

She’s also a Realtor like Jen, and it appears she’s always had an antagonistic relationship with her son’s wife. However, she seems to genuinely care about her grandkids, Henry (Luke Roessler) and Charlie (Sam McCarthy), so don’t expect her to just be written out of the show. In the season finale, Charlie came back from temporarily living with Lorna, saying grandma has a pill problem.

Could Judy win him back over enough to help cover up the death of Steve? Or maybe we’ll never see him again? These poor kids.

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