Table of Contents
How anger arises and how to recognize it
Sometimes suffering leads us to want a ransom. There lack of fun, the prolonged absence of pleasure, often finding oneself in stagnant and frustrating situations, carrying a grudge towards someone who has hurt us; these are all factors that lead toaccumulation of a rage which must be recognized and managed.
It is a primal feeling, a strong instinct that doesn’t make sense to repress. Sometimes it comes from a wrong that we have suffered or that we feel we have suffered. We must first of all understand that the difference between what we perceive and what happens on the real datum: it matters a lot and it also depends on how we have been educated, on the things we have had to endure, on the abuses or lies that we have felt as unfair.
Anger gushes and must be made to gush. How? Before you let her out it would be important to recognize it, which does not mean attenuating it but realizing that if we scream, if we throw objects, perhaps we are prey to this feeling. These are behaviors from which negative outcomes may arise, like real physical attacks. Anger sometimes leads to violence that becomes one extremely destructive force. It must be said that violence and aggression do not always mean expression of anger, as the anger always remains an emotion and naturally aggressive people can indulge in certain actions even without feeling anger. In other words, in the subjects of an aggressive and dominant nature, also apathy and boredom could trigger actions that we would classify as angry but which fall into a different category and should be considered as expressions of a latent malaise of a different kind.
We often think of anger as a momentary rush, but there is also a I keep ruminating on a mental level which leads to accumulate this emotion. The reactions that can arise are also physical, like a bursting pressure cooker, and sometimes they go to affect the relationship we live in an important way, creating real “scars” difficult to heal without thehelp from an experienced therapist and with the continuous dialogue and the desire to change.
Three tips for managing anger
When anger arises there it is felt first of all in the body. It often affects the stomach, changes our facial expression in a short time, affects the way we stand on our feet and generates nervousness which is reflected in the hands and the use we make of them. We recognize the anger in violently frowning, showing teeth, clenching the jaw, while the eyes become shiny and sometimes uncontrolled tears flow down.
Let’s see together 3 useful tips to manage anger effectively.
I am not what I feel
When you feel this feeling arise, when you understand that you have been hatching it for some time, go back to the here and now. It is not an easy exercise, on the contrary, a real training that takes its time to bear fruit. Yet in recognizing oneself in this state it is also necessary to detach oneself. What we feel does not define us and it does not fit us, it does not nail us. Regardless of the feeling you get, we need to remember that it is something transitory which does not define our being. Not identifying with anger but activating the external observer remains the first step in expressing this life force in a healthy way.
Return to the heart
The heart is severely tested by the feeling of anger and frustration and putting a hand on your chest puts you back immediately. In the breath and heartbeat we find full response of what we are experiencing and the way in which this affects our physiological conditions. Practicing this exercise even in moments away from anger allows you to be trained when you find yourself experiencing angry states. Put a hand on your heart before going to sleep. You will recognize it on the chest even in moments of acute nervousness.
To shout
In today’s world, the expression of anger through the primordial gesture of the scream is strongly repressed. Instead it is a useful, physiological way of venting and that puts us in direct contact with the voice. The body becomes a real sounding board and we can bring out all that we feel repressed and compressed. Obvious, good behavior therapy and a psychological path they help so much to look from within the way we manage this emotion and help us to feel it as a real resource, as anger, in effect, remains a resource that we can use, knowing how to do it.
Meditation and deep breathing allow you to approach a feeling well that in any case must be vented. As for the to be able to express anger through screaming, remember that sometimes even going to nature, alone and finding a place where the view opens up and you can let yourself go screaming becomes important and truly healing. After the scream you hear it without strength but also ready / e to regain new ones.
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