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Not everyone likes to be autonomous and independent, especially not everyone likes to be alone. On the contrary, loneliness scares and terrifies them, because they are unable to see their added value. And more often than not, they tend and need others to be someone, they rely on and depend on the affection of others.
This submissive attitude in psychology has a name and is called “Cinderella complex”: let’s see below what it is and how it works.
Cinderella complex: what is it?
The expression “Cinderella syndrome” was first coined by the American psychotherapist Colette Dowling in 1981. And to translate it in simpler terms, we can enclose it in the following meaning: the fear of women (but also of men) of being independent.
Of course, it would have been a shock at the time to blame the fairy tales for this one widespread condition, both at the time and unfortunately still today. In fact, the doctor saw this syndrome as a not indifferent problem, but perhaps the cultural and historical prerequisites were not yet there to trigger a real revolution.
Cinderella complex: what is the fear of being alone
So, with this type of complex, we refer to all those women, even if there are men who suffer from it, who they are unable to be autonomous and independent from an emotional and economic point of view.
They are afraid of being alone, they fear loneliness, and thus end up seeking affection and support from others. In particular, like Cinderella, they are waiting for the ideal prince charming to arrive to save them from their condition to make them live a wonderful life.
From this condition, a whole series of submissive attitudes, which suggest that these people have low self-esteem and are very shy and withdrawn inside.
But beyond all this, the thing that makes this syndrome more curious is that these women are just waiting for a person to save them. Indeed they believe that their personal fulfillment depends on getting married and thus finding a man in whom to place all expectations and desires. In other words, having found the person to love, they reprogram their whole life according to this, they live for her and cancel themselves completely.
Cinderella complex: what is it and why is it made?
Unfortunately it is thought that nowadays, in a society like ours where there is a fight for gender equality and women’s emancipation in all sectors, a situation of this type is no longer credible and possible. Instead the Cinderella syndrome still exists today and more and more women suffer from it.
But where does this condition come from? Psychologists believe that a good blame is given by patriarchal society which for centuries has had the opportunity to exist and to spread more and more. Today the situation has changed slightly but there are still cases where the man commands and the woman just suffers.
Another cause is found in thefamily environment, always centered on “patriarchal bases”, where the male child is allowed to be independent and also to be able to transgress. While the female is forbidden most of the time any form of freedom and autonomy. The daughter is seen as the one who has to stay home to take care of the housework and to learn how to look after and support a family. He cannot have distractions and cannot exceed in transgressions of any kind.
Cinderella complex: what is it and can it be overcome?
The answer to this question is: yes, those who suffer from it can overcome it. She can get help from someone external and expert who knows how to direct her towards her own happiness and to discover her added value, which must reside within herself and must not seek it in others. Or she can try it on her own, trying to figure out what she really likes and starting from that to discover an independent and more beautiful life.
