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Ah, love! It is everywhere. In songs, movies, TV shows, books, and magazines, we are told that it is the greatest thing in the world and that all you need is love. But what if he told you that love is not always enough to be in a relationship?
Sounds crazy, right? Don’t get us wrong: loving or caring deeply for someone is a beautiful thing, but it can also complicate things. We hear from many people who tell us about misbehaving or feeling unhappy in a relationship, but say they still love each other. It is very possible to have feelings of love for someone, even if they are mistreating you.
Love can be great, but it is important to recognize that love is only one part of the whole. There are other ingredients that are crucial to having a strong, healthy relationship. If you are in a relationship and wondering if love is enough, ask yourself these questions:
Do you trust the other person?
You can love someone, but if you don’t trust her – or she doesn’t trust you – then the relationship will not be healthy. Trust is a building block in a healthy relationship, and without it, jealousy and insecurity can lead to unhealthy or even abusive behavior (and we know that jealousy does not equal love!).
Do you feel supported and can you talk to each other about anything, including difficult things?
Being able to communicate openly with your partner about anything without being afraid of how they will respond is just as important in a healthy relationship as love. Even if you bring up a difficult topic or disagree with something, that should not lead to yelling, name calling, or any kind of physical confrontation. You have to feel safe talking about anything with the person you love.
Are the limits respected?
Setting boundaries helps ensure that everyone in a relationship is comfortable with what’s going on, so a person’s boundaries should always be respected – even if you (or your partner) don’t like them. Disrespecting the limits that each person has in a relationship is a sign of abuse, it is not love.
Do you have fun together?
It’s obvious, but anyway: having fun together is a very important part of a healthy relationship! Even if you love your partner, feeling unhappy or insecure on a regular basis in your relationship can be a sign that your relationship is not as healthy as it could be. Everyone deserves to be in a healthy, safe, and loving relationship.
If your answer is “NO” to any of these questions, it may be time to reconsider whether your relationship is right for you, even if you love your partner.
